Posted by Ali Alsayed
At first this is a problem which more and more suffer suffer from this around the word, If your son is out of control, how can you treat with him/her?Do you agree to call cops or leave him/her as he want to do?You do not know what will you do with him! Read the following lines to know more....
Many of us suffering from this problem but when you are a hero of the matter you do not know what will you do? and see it as a trouble, so I decided to write some solves about this.
Many people see it, as it is not a problem just call cops, They see if you calling the cops, you won't be ruining your son life, you will be helping him/her in the long run. You obviously have lost control and the kid has no respect for you or your rules. So you need to put your son foot down, warn him/her what is going to happen if he/she doesn't stop and if he/she tests you and breaks your rule, follow through and call the cops.
And advise you to call or go into the police department and talk to someone about what is going on and see what they suggest and can or can't do so that way when and if you do call you won't be surprised.
That said, calling the police is NOT your first option. I have some relatives right now dealing with something similar. Here's what happens: they call the police on their illegal actions, there's a court day set. Depending, they might give them community service; regardless, they charge the parents hundreds of dollars of court time.
Your son is out of control and how you go about getting him/her back under control means you will have to do something. If you know he/she is using drugs then you start by getting him/her into an intensive inpatient treatment center so they will also deal with their behavioral problems, and any mental illness. So you can start by contacting your or their primary care physician.
May be the biggest suggestion is get in touch with your state's health & welfare's children's mental health. Tell them you have an out-of-control teen; ask to meet with them. They will assign your family a case worker. Don't be afraid to call; they WILL help. It has nothing to do with her being taken out of the home. Ask if they offer "Parenting With Love and Limits." Make sure it's THIS PROGRAM. Enroll as soon as possible. This was mind-blowingly helpful.
You are worried involving the police and courts will ruin their life. It might save it. They are on the fast track to an early death or prison sentence. You have a limited time before he/she is an adult and the penalties are harsher. Your choice- step up and be a parent or continue to let your son crash and burn.
Changing the effect you have on their life will also help too. For all I know, you could be a dad who watches from the side lines. I would reconsider what you've done in front of them (indirectly or directly) when they were children who didn't know the difference between right and wrong. I would suggest trying to have family time together whenever you are around, and try to make them too tired to do anything but sleep at the end of the day. Engaging them in family activities will be a good way to influence them in the right direction. It will also make them too tired to do anything in the middle of the night. I would suggest taking some time off (like a month) of off work to go to on a trip (a trip to the country side will be better than one to a city), and engage them to have some fun in the good things he/she has to do.
I would also suggest moving to a better environment. Assuming you live in a bad environment, I would move the entire family to a town which has a reputation for being a good learning environment for students. Having a good learning environment (and a good disciplinary system in the environment) will help to teach them what's good and bad. For example, at Radnor, PA, US, they have a good teaching system for all students. There's a system for students who are having a hard time learning, a system for gifted students, and a system for average students. They also have
electives which teach students responsibilities such as turning in homework when it's due, taking care of your instruments (for music electives only) and coming to school on time (and a bunch of other ones too), and if your son has a hard time doing any of those responsibilities, then she will get detention. There's also a program for bullying and loneliness too. There's also a guidance counselor which anyone can go to in order to talk about one of the students there, and the issues being created. Even parents can go report a problem to the guidance counselor about their child(ren) and get a lot of help. There are also some other steps after detention. If any of the teachers or adults there catches a student selling illegal drugs (or anything) that student will be suspended or held back or turned in to the authorities. And in all of the classes there, they put at least some emphasize on what's good and what's bad. And the classes which will help her the most are the gym classes and the health classes. These two are tied together in my district because gym classes teach the students about physical health and the health classes teach the students more about internal health. Both classes put an emphasize on stress and bullying. And all of the classes there put an emphasize on whatever a person does, has an effect, and a cause. This is an important lesson for your son to learn because he/she isn't thinking about the past, or the future.
I would also suggest trying to find out why he/she does what they do. This would require being more vigilant and more influential in their life. And once you find out why they do it, you could help them by getting rid of those reasons. I mean, they couldn't have started doing those stuff without a reason. And by getting rid of that reason you destroy the root of the problem. However, it doesn't stop the effects of it. All it does is weaken the problem. After you did this I would suggest going to a therapist with your son.
But to know may be you are the reason our sons are our mirrors if we good or teach them good they will be good, and the opposite is right.
I am sorry but this is the fact, but you can restart now, they are our sons so we must do what we can do to protect them.